Whether it’s an upbeat song, a thoughtful gesture, or an unpleasant comment, external stimuli often instigate an emotional response within us.
Nevertheless, at the heart of this notion is the essential principle of emotional autonomy – the idea that we can take charge of how we feel, given the right techniques and mindset. Think of it as the ability to narrative your own emotional story without it being pre-written by external circumstances.
1. Recognize that feelings are complicated
It’s common to succumb to the misconception that our emotions are the product of linear causes and effects; you get a raise, you feel happy. This oversimplified view, however, can rob us of the ability to fully understand and effectively navigate our emotional landscape.
“Emotion is energy in motion.” – Peter McWilliams
Much like an ocean current, emotions flow from one to the next – multifaceted and dynamic. It’s more about the journey than the destination. Understanding this provides more room for emotional autonomy, as it frees you from the trap of letting individual events define your entire emotional state.
2. Building Emotional Resilience
Emotional resilience is your ability to adapt and bounce back from adversity. It’s not the absence of distress or difficulty, but rather the ability to cope with it. An emotionally resilient person can acknowledge difficult situations and emotions, and then move forward.
Practicing mindfulness plays a central role in emotional resilience. Mindfulness allows you to recognize and accept your emotions without judgment.
“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” – William James
3. Take Ownership and Reflect
One of the most powerful ways to take control of your emotions is through introspection and taking ownership of your reactions. By understanding the source of your emotions, you gain the power to control their effect on you.
Reflection can come through multiple forms such as journaling, meditation, or even just sitting alone and going over the day in your mind. It’s about asking those tough questions such as “Why did I react that way?” or “What can I do to prevent such a reaction in the future?”
“The unexamined life is not worth living.” – Socrates
4. Practise affirmation
Affirmations are powerful tools that can help reinforce positive beliefs and ideas about yourself. Positive affirmations can, over time, alter your overall perspective and reactions to various situations.
A simple but impactful affirmation can be:
“I choose to respond, not react.”
Reaching a point where
‘How I feel depends entirely on me’
can be a journey. It’s not a switch, but rather a process that involves understanding, resilience, introspection, and affirmation. It may not be entirely true that we can control every single feeling, but we do have the power to manage how we respond to those feelings.