AffirmEasy
AffirmEasy

People Pleasers: The Words to Set You Free

Affirmations can help people pleasers set boundaries. It’s that straightforward. Now, why do people pleasers struggle with this?

November 2023
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Why Words Matter for People Pleasers

The emotional toll of constantly saying ‘yes’ leads to fatigue, resentment, and often spirals into emotional or mental health issues.

“I choose my well-being over pleasing others.”

The Psychological Loop

Being a people pleaser often roots itself in childhood experiences. There’s this mental record that keeps playing: “If I say yes, I’ll be liked; if I say no, I’ll be a bad person.” Affirmations aim to rewrite this script, but it’s not an overnight process.

Strategies to Break Free

  1. Start Small: You don’t need to go from “yes-man” to “no-guru” in a day. Start by saying no to smaller things. For instance, turn down that extra work assignment.
  2. Self-Reflect: Ask yourself, why do you feel the need to please everyone? Look at this through the lens of self-compassion rather than self-judgment.

“It’s okay to prioritize myself. That doesn’t make me selfish.”

A Word on Repetition

Just reading an affirmation once won’t cut it. Like practicing a musical instrument, you’ve got to keep at it to see real changes. Want to know more about how often to use affirmations? Check out my earlier post on The Ideal Frequency for Affirmations.

Tools for Transformation

Written Affirmations: Writing down your affirmations is incredibly effective. It forces you to slow down and consider each word, lending gravity to the process.

“My needs are important too, and it’s okay to voice them.”

Technology as an Ally: Use reminders on your phone to chime in with an affirmation. It’s like a tap on the shoulder from your virtual conscience.

The Science Behind It

Now you may be wondering how effective this stuff really is. Well, research shows that affirmations activate the brain’s reward circuits. They’re the same circuits fired by eating chocolate, receiving money, or looking at a cute dog. Yeah, it’s that effective.

“I find freedom in setting boundaries.”

Check out the scientific basis of affirmations more comprehensively in The Science on Affirmations.

Wrapping it Up

Being a people pleaser isn’t a life sentence. You can break the pattern. Affirmations are your words of freedom. Write them, say them, believe them.

“I have the power to change my life.”